Hearing His Voice In the Music

I have to admit, I do not keep up with all the mommas and their blogs. I am not always that connected. I rarely look at fb, never tweet, and only read email when it is work related. I prefer a good book and a cup of coffee over the Internet and television. So when Andrea asked me to post I naturally jumped to the keyboard…..a week after she asked:) I will admit though, I am now more motivated to share my heart than I have been in the past.

We have now been going through this process for almost a year, and we have been on the wait list for five months. During this time we each have experienced seasons of growth, and periods of trials. The most recent may be one of the toughest trials we will face in this process. You see our hearts are broken not only for our child, but for each child that will be effected by the proposed changes within MOWA. As we have navigated what all this means to us and other AGCI families we have fervently searched God’s will. When the first word of changes came last week Andrea and I immediately hit our knees. Our human desires naturally came through as we ached for the children, but as God began to minister to our hearts we have resolved to listen to His plan. We have (with a lot of prayer and God’s peace) been content to wait for our child. The prospect of having to wait is heartbreaking, but God’s plan is bigger.

We had our first glimpse of God’s faithfulness in this situation last Thursday. Earlier in the week I stumbled upon tickets to a Mark Shultz and Jason Gray concert that we had forgotten we had ordered. Now, if you are at all familiar with Mark Schultz and his music you would agree with me when I say this was not the concert Andrea and I needed to be at. (Our emotions had already peaked.) We however are gluttons for punishment and went on to the concert. We took Grace for emotional support:) Well, without knowing, we stumbled into a World Vision sponsored concert. Jason Gray is an amazing performer and advocate for World Vision. During his performance he made a passionate plea for each to search their heart to support World Vision.(here come the tears) A video was shown featuring a woman from the US who had supported a woman from…..you guessed it….Ethiopia(cue the snot bubbles). This woman had deeply impacted the life of the Ethiopian woman and vice versa.(Bring on the Kleenex.)

Andrea and I had past peak and are now on a world class emotional roller coaster ride. God was speaking, our hearts were torn open and His words burned deep within. Now, with our hearts bleeding and vulnerable Mark Shultz began his performance. His songs, formed from stories of life, are emotional without any added stimulus. So to be bombarded with these touching verses only added to the loops and drops we were already experiencing. One song in particular ministered to me on a personal level. “What It Means to be Loved” portrays the love of a father and mother that has been tested by the prospect of losing a daughter, but their faith is great and the mother will not give up hope. In return God blesses their faithfulness with abundant life for the child. In our real life situation, this song mirrored much of what I was feeling. Unfortunately, I tend to be the pessimist in the house, often detoured by things such as we are facing now. When the first rumors came in my initial reaction was to immediately think about how long we will have to wait. However, as you have probably learned, my wife has faith of steel (hence the super woman underoos). She refuses to give into Satan’s schemes and therefore encourages me. I have to throw in a side bar here and state what a wonderful wife God has blessed me with. We complement each other perfectly. What I lack she makes up for and what she lacks I haven't found yet:) As great as she is, it sometimes still takes God’s audible voice through such a song or His word to get through my thick skull. Thursday night God spoke to me plainly through His people, word, and music. I fully believe that we were invited to that concert by God Himself so He could minister to our broken hearts and reinforce the calling that we received a year ago. I am convinced that we will see our child soon. We will watch her grow and be blessed to know her. -Bigg Daddy